Open Wounds Won't Heal
by TheLittlestRaindrop
Summary: After meeting a stranger on the street, you find yourself travelling to Ishval, wanting nothing more than to help them rebuild. Falling in love wasn't part of the plan.
1. The Unwelcoming Committee

In truth, you have no idea what inspired you to travel to Ishval.

From all that you've heard, the country was barely habitable even before the war. A wasteland of sand and stone… now it's a land full of blood and rubble.

The train screeches to a halt, this part of the journey over. From here, it's a trek across the desert to the ruins of an old city, the former capital of Ishval. You don't know how long it's going to take to rebuild there, but you know you need to be a part of it.

The man next to you taps you on the shoulder. 'Miss? We're leaving for Ishval now. Try to stay with the group, or you'll get lost. The last thing you want is to let the desert take you.' He's right, of course; no one can last alone out in the desert.

You smile, rising from your chair. 'Thank you, Anthony. Do you know how long the journey to Base will take?' 'Base' is the nickname the city has been given while it undergoes repairs; you can't recall it's true name.

Anthony smiles. 'It would normally take about three days, but the Amestrian military have a temporary base of their own about six hours away. They've agreed to transport us the rest of the way.' Six hours of walking in the blazing sun isn't your idea of a pleasant stroll, but it's certainly better than three days. Why did you sign up to this again?

As you make your way out of the train and onto the sand, you begin to recall the exact reason you're here.

After the coup d'état in Central, you'd felt… different. Maybe it was those few moments of losing your soul (something you still find incredibly hard to swallow), but when you'd woken up, you'd realised a few things.

So far, your adult life has been spend working a dead end job for next to nothing, desperately trying to built a better future for yourself. With the countless hours spent watching your life fly by, it's almost a surprise that there was any soul left in you to remove.

As you headed off to work one day, you'd heard a man addressing a crowd. Upon closer inspection, it was an Ishvalan man, and his message was clear; help us to rebuild.

Naturally, still blinded by their ignorance, the crowd had dispersed into nothingness. You'd heard a few murmurs as it did. 'Let the military deal with that!' And 'I'm no soldier. I didn't destroy their homes, so I'll not help rebuild them.' One even had the audacity to say 'well, at least they're crawling back to where they came from now. Good riddance!'

You'd been appalled by the display. From what you've heard, you have the Ishvalans to thank for helping restore balance and safety in Amestris. You'd approached the man, planning only to apologise for the crowd.

Yet for some reason, that's not what you said at all. 'What kind of help do you need?' The words left your mouth before you could stop them, your brain taking control.

The man's face instantly lit up. 'Anyone we can find. Builders, farmers, tailors… any skill you have is a skill we can use to rebuild.' You were uncertain what place a tailor would have in a broken city, but you'd let that slide.

Still, there was doubt. 'And if I had no skills to offer? Would you still let me join you?'

The man smiled. 'If you are willing to help, and willing to learn, you will be welcomed in my homeland.' He'd extended a hand to you, a hand you'd shaken without hesitation.

After that, all you'd had to do was quit your job, and leave a note to your family explaining that with immediate effect, you're leaving for Ishval.

Back in reality, the crowd of passengers assembles outside the station, all of them with one thing in common; they're all clearly Ishvalan.

You turn to Anthony, curious. 'How many people have you taken to Ishval so far?'

Anthony hums. 'Well, this is my third group, and each group is about fifty strong, so about one hundred and fifty total.' That's a lot of people to transport in a few months…

You nod, one again doing a visual sweep of the area. 'Right. And of those one hundred and fifty people, how many were Amestrian?' You have a feeling you already know, but just to confirm it…

Anthony beams at you. 'You are the only one so far. I get the feeling most Amestrains don't want to set foot in Ishval after what happened, but I'm glad we have an exception!' You knew it. You absolutely knew it. So you're the only Amestrian to have volunteered so far? That probably explains the questioning looks you've been receiving…

Doubt begins to creep in. 'Anthony, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't want anyone here to think an Amestrian is interfering with Ishvalan business.' Not after what happened that last time that happened; you have to repress a shudder.

Anthony chuckles. 'It is a wonderful idea. I was instructed by the Head Monk to do so, in fact. Something about wanting us to exist as neighbours, peacefully this time. Besides, there are plenty of soldiers from Amestris helping us also. You are here to help us rebuild because you were asked to do so. You are needed here, if you are still willing.' In truth, this is probably the last chance you'll have of turning back, possibly for years; can you really go through with this?

You nod, more to convince yourself than him. 'I'm here to help. I'll do what I can. For Ishval, and...' For all the people killed so horribly in the war…

Anthony nods. 'I know you will. Trust me, everyone there will be happy to see you. Well, if not everyone, I'm certain my husband will be eager to meet you.' You just hope his husband is the rule, and not the exception…

With everyone now gathered, Anthony leads you into the desert, past the point of no return.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It ends up taking eight hours to get to the trucks; you lose track of how long it takes them to get to Base.

All you know is that by the time you make it, everyone is dead on their feet, yourself included. You'd trade a kidney for a warm bath and a soft bed, but you know that neither are likely on offer here; water is too important, and luxury bedding in the middle of a broken city is beyond unlikely.

Still, you're all still alive, so you'll take that.

Anthony himself is is the only one fighting off visible signs of fatigue, but you suppose he's used to that. 'Right, everyone listen! Form two lines for me. Everyone here gets basic eating utensils, some clothes, and a sleeping bag. Be sure to label them with the equipment provided.' Too tired to ask any further questions, you make your way into the line, watching Anthony as he walks off to join three men watching from the sidelines.

As you collect your things, the woman in charge of handing them out smiles at you. 'Welcome to Ishval, stranger. I hope you don't find desert life too difficult.' It's already difficult, but you expected it to be.

You smile back at her. 'I won't let the sun stop me from helping. I'm sure I'll learn how to live with it in time.' You can't read the answer in the stranger's eyes, but perhaps you're better not knowing.

With your things collected, you head towards the area designated as the female camp, when a voice calls out for you. 'Hey, come here a sec, would you? I have some people here that want to meet you!' You turn around to see Anthony, waving you over to his group of four. You'd love to sleep right now, but you can't exactly ignore him; it would be stupid to upset the closest thing you have to a friend.

As you approach the group, you take in their appearance. While two of the men are dressed in traditional Ishvalan clothing, the third is in a military uniform. It makes sense that there is a military officer here to oversee things, but you weren't expecting them to be an Ishvalan too; there are no more Ishvalans in the Amestrian military, are there?

Clearly yes.

To your dismay, all three men are frowning at you, but Anthony's smile never falters. 'Here she is! Our first Amestrian aid worker! I'm working on the title. Introduce yourself.' Not for the first time, you're beginning to wonder if you really belong here…

Not two seconds after saying your name, you're cut off my the largest of the three men, a broad-shouldered man with a cross-shaped scar on his forehead that seems… familiar. 'Bringing an Amestrian here was a mistake. Ishval should be for the Ishvalans to build. Her help is not needed.' It's as you'd feared. You're not wanted here…

The smaller robed man, while his brow is still furrowed, seems softer. 'I almost hadn't expected any Amestrians to answer the call for assistance. That you came at all is remarkable.'

The military man barks a laugh. 'You asked for Amestrian help, and an Amestrian came to help. I'd say that was the desired outcome.' You're glad one of the frowning men is on your side…

The scarred man isn't satisfied, eyeing you with what feels like malice. 'Why did you come to help us? This isn't your county. You have no reason to help.'

You try to steady your nerves, a difficult thing to do under circumstances that don't involved being stared at by an imposing man. 'I want to help. Isn't that reason enough?' Anthony said it was. Why don't they think the same?

The scarred man takes a step forward, never breaking the intense eye-contact. 'No.' The word terrifies you to your core. If you were any more scared, there would be a puddle beneath you right now. You have to fight to stand your ground, legs weak with fear.

It's the smaller robed man that moves first, pulling his fellow Ishvalan away from you. 'You have worked with Amestrians before. Why now is this such an issue?' He has? You would never have guessed…

To your relief, the larger man seems to soften. 'That was necessary, and they were exceptional. I was willing to cast my anger aside to save lives, even if they cost us so many in the war. I was curious to see if she shared any of my conviction.' You're not sure what he means by that, and part of you isn't certain you want to…

The military man smiles. 'Well, she did hike out into the desert with a group of strangers. If we're debating it, I'd say that's conviction enough to let her stay.' Stay? They really are considering throwing you out?

The smallest man hums. 'I wasn't aware that was up for debate. After all, we can't expect a lone woman to walk into the desert and survive. I think it would be wise to let her decide for herself whether or not she belongs here. Anthony, you leave here in two weeks, yes?'

For the first time since calling you over, Anthony speaks. 'That's right. There are still camps of people I have yet to bring home, though some of our people are choosing to remain in Amestris during the repairs.' Not a bad idea, really, especially for the very old and very young…

The smaller robed man nods once. 'It is decided then. You are to remain with us here for two weeks. If you decide to leave, Anthony will take you back to your home country.' After only two weeks? Do they think you that frail?

You nod. 'And when I decide to stay? Will you be willing to treat me as an equal?' You have a feeling you know the answer…

To your surprise, the large man nods. 'If you work and live as one of us, we will treat you as one of us. Do not be surprised if some people here are hostile, however. There are some wounds that will never fully heal.' You have a feeling he's one person that you'll never get along with, but he's only one man. You think you could settle here, in time.

So you smile. 'Very well then. Might I ask you for your names?' The large man flinches as if you've hit him, and you wonder what you've done wrong.

It's the military man that explains. 'In Ishval, names are considered a gift from Ishvala, and some choose not to share that gift with strangers. The man on the end is the Head Monk, so you should address him as such. My standoffish friend here used to go by Scar, but since the war, he has dropped that name, along with the one he was given at birth. He says he'll answer to anything, but I'd advice you to stick with something like 'Ishvalan'.' Two men with unknown names? Today is getting strange, and you don't think it's the exhaustion talking…

Wait, what did that larger man was called?

All the blood drains from your face. ''Scar'?! The 'Scar'?! The one who murdered all the alchemists?!' It's a coincidence, surely. He can't be the same man. He'd be in prison, surely!

The surly man growls. 'My past is behind me. I am no longer the man that vengeance shaped me into. I seek only to help my country rebuild, nothing more.' And here he is questioning your intentions! Are you even safe with him?! After all, it wasn't Ishvalans he brutally murdered…

… That was the alchemists. You really don't belong here, do you?

You must look terrified, because the military man's look become deadly serious. 'You are in no danger. Ishvalan is a different man now. He's our cultural minister. As stern as he is, I swear, he is a kind soul. You need not fear him.' Easy for a man with actual combat training to say!

Swallowing your fear, you subtly edge closer to the camp, but not before remembering something. 'You didn't give me your name. Should I call you Sergeant Sir? General Guy?' Making shitty jokes right now is a stupid idea, you feel it in your guts…

Ishvalan answers first. 'You are closer than you think. He is Major Miles. If you have anything that requires military attention, he is the man you contact. You will find that the two of us are either together, or with my former master here. The three of us, four for the time that Anthony is here, are the people you come to for help. We are in charge here. Remember that.' He's staring again, and it's still terrifying; you need sleep, and fast.

So you bow, grasping your things tightly. 'Nice to meet you. If you'll excuse me, I need sleep. I'll be no use here if I don't sleep.' You don't wait for a reply, not even from Anthony; you just want out of this situation.

You don't know if you'll sleep easy tonight, but hopefully, exhaustion will take you as soon as you hit the floor.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The four men stare dumbfounded after the Amestrian woman, all of them a little surprised by her sudden departure.

Anthony sighs. 'Shit. She was the first Amestrian that even listened to me asking for help. If she leaves…'

Miles adds a sigh of his own. 'Yeah, I think we screwed up. I know that at least one of us owes her an apology. You can be a really jackass, my friend.' He looks pointedly at the scarred man next to him, making sure his contempt is visible.

To Miles' surprise, the scarred man smiles. 'We panic over nothing. She is not leaving here with Anthony in two weeks.' The three other men stare at him dumbfounded; how can he be so sure?

It's the Head Monk that vocalises first. 'I might have agreed, before she discovered your identity. Now I am not so certain. It would be a great blow to lose any ally so early, especially one with this level of political significance.' A significance lost on no one; even with everything that happened in Amestris, the attitude towards Ishval amongst the average civilian is still toxic at best.

Ishvalan shakes his head. 'We will not be losing her. She will stay. I don't doubt that she will avoid me, given my past, but she will remain in Ishval. If her convictions were fleeting, she would have suggested returning home as soon as there was trouble. Her silence was answer enough. We should treat her as we would anyone else, disregarding the political implications.'

Miles raises his eyebrows at that. 'You sure about that? I thought you hated Amestrians?'

Once again, the scarred man shakes his head. 'I might have once, but as I said, I am not that man anymore. As long as she treats us with kindness, we should do the same. It is the least we can do for someone willing to cast aside their life to help us.' The man he was a year ago would scoff at such a notion; the change must be deeper than he'd thought.

The Head Monk nods. 'Well said. For now, we must all get some rest. There is much to be done tomorrow, and we have many new people that need tasks. My former pupil, might you be the one to assign tasks? I'm afraid I have need of Miles and Anthony tomorrow, for I wish to discuss the transportation situation.'

Ishvalan nods once. 'Very well. I shall take care of it.'

The Head Monk smiles. 'Wonderful. While you are at it, perhaps you will consider choosing a name for yourself. After all, I am certain Ishvala would be happy for you to take a new one, for all the good that you are doing in his name.' The scarred man shakes his head; he does not deserve a name after all the wrongs he has committed.

The atmosphere becomes tense, only for Anthony to break it. 'If our chat is concluded, I do believe there's a man here that needs my full attention. Until tomorrow, gentleman.' Everyone bids the man goodnight, before all deciding to head their separate ways for the evening.

As the scarred man eats his rations for the evening, he thinks back on the Amestrian woman, and the things he said and did. Perhaps he does owe her an apology? Was he too harsh? Has he done nothing to help improve any image she may have of him?

He shakes his head; nothing will improve that image anyway. To the world at large, he will always be the man that murdered so many alchemists.

All he can do now is try to help others rebuild, even if he can never rebuild himself.

He has no idea why he's even allowed to be here.


	2. Unintentional Assignment

It's just after sunrise when you wake, the general hustle and bustle of the camp pulling you from sleep.

Despite the sleeping bag, you seem to have a bad back today; it's easy to forget that sand is just a massive collection of tiny rocks when it feels so soft underfoot. At least you also had a tent to shelter you from any cold desert winds, as well as four other women to share it with.

As you sit up in the tent, you realise you're the last person to wake up.

Trying your best not to dwell on the fact that you had such a rough night (both in terms of sleep AND the reception that had greeted you), you shrug yourself out of your clothes, replacing them with the robes you'd been given yesterday.

They're a little big, but it's better than your current clothing.

With nothing else to do, you leave the tent, and begin trying to figure out what to do next.

The moment you leave the tent, you almost bump into someone; a man.

You're about to ask what a man is doing in the female camp, when his face breaks into a smile. 'Aha! You're the one my husband was talking about! I'm Hani, Ant's husband. It's lovely to meet you, I'm sure!' He tries to outstretch a hand to you, when you notice something; his arms are full of food, far too much for one man to carry.

Without thinking, you take some of it from him, smiling gently. 'It's a pleasure to meet you. Anthony spoke most highly of you.' You start walking in the direction he seemed to be heading, hoping he'll catch on to the fact that you're helping him, rather than robbing him.

Hani grins, keeping pace with you easily. 'Thanks. I hate to ask anyone to assist, but it's really quite a lot for one man to carry. Maybe now we have more people I can start asking for help.' So he does this every day? He carries all this by himself?

You can't help match his enthusiastic tone. 'I'd be happy to help you. I want to make sure I'm as useful as I can be while I'm here.' In truth, you're not used to carrying food like this, but you're sure you'll get used to it soon enough.

For a moment, Hani seems to hesitate, before shaking his head. 'As grateful as I am, I'm not sure about that. A lot of people here still hold a grudge against Amestris, and seeing you handling their food…' They might think you're planning to poison them. Of course, you should have considered that.

The food in your arms suddenly doesn't feel half as heavy as your heart does.

You're about to ask if he wants you to give it to someone else, when a shadow blocks out what little light the sun has managed to produce thus far. 'I see you've already made yourself busy. Do you have something to prove?' You have to suppress a shiver of fear; you know that voice.

Sure enough, the moment you look up, a scarred face comes into view.

Hani laughs, though you sense an undercurrent of uncertainty. 'Ah, Mr Cultural! I was just delivering breakfast when the Amestrian offered to help. Well, decided really, but my arms appreciate her decision greatly.' The scarred man glares at you, and you wonder what he's going to do.

You freeze in fear as his arms come towards you, only for him to carefully take you food from you, your arms dropping to your sides in relief.

The scarred man hums. 'You were not built to carry heavy loads. Look at how your arms tremble. It would be best if you were assigned a job that does not involve much carrying, or that will allow you to only carry small loads at a time.' Oh dear. Now the known serial killer knows that you're an easy target…

Either that, or… 'Are you only saying that because I'm a woman?' You're not sure what sexism and gender politics are like in Ishval, but you know there's more that enough in Amestris…

Surprisingly, the scarred man shakes his head. 'No. I am saying it because your body was not built to carry heavily loads. I have known many women that can lift twice their own body weight. You do not look as though you could even manage half. Ishvala did not mean for you to labour, but to work in other ways.' You know he's right, that you're not cut out for physical work, but something about what he says rubs you up the wrong way.

So despite your initial fear, you scowl up him, trying to forget that he could kill you with a single touch. 'I'm sure Ishvala didn't mean for you to kill people, but that did nothing to stop you, did it?' The man in front of you flinches, and you're sure you can hear Hani grinding his teeth together.

You half-expect the scarred man to charge at you, to hurt you for such a cutting remark, but all he does is hand you the food he had taken from you. 'Fine. You can clear rubble. Hani will show you where to go after breakfast. When you are ready to admit your mistake, I will assign you something more suitable.' You're shaking again, this time from relief. You were convinced you were going to die…

Before he can leave, Hani stops him. 'Wait a moment, Ishvalan. Do you not worry that people will assume the food has been tampered with if she helps me serve it?' You'd almost forgotten that concern, as preoccupied with your certain death as you'd become.

Ishvalan looks at Hani as if he's speaking a foreign language. 'There is no poison that only affects Ishvalans. If she eats with you, that is proof that it has not been tampered with.' Hani looks like he wants to argue, but the cultural minister has had enough; his leaving this time brokers no room for argument.

Hani sighs. 'As cheerful as ever, I see. You should really apologise to him for that comment. It was unfair.' Unfair? Really?

You shake your head. 'I don't think it unfair. If he's going to speak as if he knows me, why shouldn't I bring up the little I know about him? Besides, he knew what he was doing when he killed his victims. He shouldn't be allowed to hide from his past for a single good deed.' No good deed will ever be enough to rectify what he did…

Finally reaching you destination without even realising you were walking, Hani places the food on a wooden box, gesturing for you to do the same.

Even though there's no one else here, Hani's voice falls into whisper. 'While it's true that good deeds doesn't erase bad ones, isn't the opposite also true to a certain extent? For all the bad that he has done, Ishvalan is trying to live a better life now, one full only of good deeds. When you used the name of our God to remind him of his crimes, he was not angered. He was hurt. I fear that telling you the life he once lead was a terrible mistake, because now that is all you will ever see. In many way, it is no different to the people here taking one look at you and branding you an enemy of Ishval just because of your nationality. We are not defined by our pasts, but by our ability to recognise our mistakes, and learn to move on from them. I implore you; apologise to him, and ask for a fresh start. You will see he is not the monster you think he is. As a point of fact, I'm certain that Major Miles has also taken lives, yet I get the feeling you've not been hostile to him?' You want to tell him that there's a big difference there, but you stop yourself. This argument will only continue if you don't stop it.

You sigh. 'Look Hani, I'm here to help, nothing more and nothing less. While I'd like to make friends during my time here, I just don't see me and Ishvalan ever seeing eye-to-eye. I think it would be best if I just tried to avoid him. At least that way, I won't accidentally provoke him or something.' You're not convinced he isn't already holding a massive grudge against you…

Hani laughs half-heartedly. 'Like I said, you won't anger him. Like most here, I believe he has changed. In time, maybe you will see that, though Ant tells me you might not be with us for very long?' Oh yeah, that's right; you've only got two weeks to decide if you're still happy to help.

As the first people begin to arrive for food, Hani ropes you into serving them, so you're not certain if your answer is heard.

'I'll be here much longer than people want me, I imagine.'


	3. Open Hostility

It only takes one day of hauling rubble to make you realise that Ishvalan may have had a point.

By the time you'd made it back to your tent on your first full day in Ishval, you were terrified your arms were going to fall off. You'd almost had to skip dinner, barely able to lift the spoon to your lips.

Today, they're somehow feeling worse.

Hani, whom you'd helped with the food delivery once again despite it not officially being your responsibility, has been hovering around you all morning, as if he's scared you're going to pass out at any moment. In all fairness, between the hard work and the blazing sun, it wouldn't be the biggest surprise…

You let out a loud grunt as you unload your armful, piling it up for transportation. By the sounds of it, all the rubble is taken off to be recycled as best it can, though from what you've seen, there is very little to salvage.

It feels like it'll take a lifetime to clear away the rubble. You're concerned that you'll be dead long before you see the fruits of your hard work.

After depositing his armful, Hani pats you on the back gently. 'How are you feeling? The sun is at its strongest right now. If you need a break, now would be the time to take it.' Looking around at everyone else, you're not certain you've earned it; you've not even cleared a third of what everyone else has.

You shake your head. 'I'm good. There's still too much work to be done. I'll rest later.' You'll have no choice at this rate; arms can't literally drop off, can they?

Hani frowns. 'You should not push yourself so far so soon. It isn't healthy. I still think you should ask for a new task. If you're not willing to speak to Ishvalan, then maybe consider going to Major Miles, or even my husband. You shouldn't have to suffer for the sake of others.' You'd hardly call this suffering, especially when you're surrounded by victims of the worse crime Amestris has ever committed…

With a gentle stretch of your arms, you walk back to the rubble, Hani keeping pace beside you. 'I'm not suffering that badly. Besides, no pain no gain, right? I have to build up my muscles if I want to be of any real use here. Today, I may struggle to move small piles of broken houses, but tomorrow, I shall be able to carry new houses!' Well, pieces of them, at least. Whole houses might be too far.

Hani laughs. 'One step at a time, please. We need to clear out the old before we can begin bringing in new.' At least he's convinced it can be done; maybe there is hope, after all.

As you load your arms full of yet more debris, a stranger approaches you and Hani, a sneer on his face. 'Why don't you just give it up? Ishval doesn't need some Amestrian bitch sticking her nose in. It's not like you're even helping us. Go back to your own country.' You swallow hard, not sure how to answer that. While you've expected that at least some in Ishval wont appreciate your presence, this is the first time you've actually faced it.

Thankfully, Hani steps in. 'Come on now, Tamir. This isn't how we treat each other here. She is living and working as one of us now. We must give her the same respect as we give everyone else.'

Tamir spits at you. 'I will show no respect to the people responsible for the deaths of my family. No amount of help from Amestris will ever restore all that is lost. The presence of any Amestrian here is an insult.' A few other men grunt in agreement, and you fight the urge to cry. You didn't… while you understand the hate for Amestrians here, you weren't a soldier. You weren't the one responsible for his grief.

So you steady yourself, hoping he'll at least hear you out. 'I have come here only to help. I was asked to help. I didn't come here as an insult to anyone here. I don't expect you to cast your feelings about Amestris aside, but I'd at least like to be given a chance to prove that I'm not a bad person.' Your words taste bitter somehow, as if you've heard them once before…

Tamir just grunts. 'You are a bad person. Your whole country is full of bad people. Stay in Ishval and work yourself to death if you want, but that won't change who you are.' With that, he walks off with a huff, leaving as fast as he arrived.

You let out a breath, though it falters slightly, unwanted tears already beginning to form in your eyes.

Hani has an arm around your shoulder in an instant, his other coaxing you into dropping the armful you'd forgotten you were carrying. 'Ignore him. Tamir… he has lost much. He's not quite himself as a result. He will soften in time.' You get the feeling that he won't, but you're a little too upset to argue.

You're about to shrug Hani's arm off and get back to work, when you hear two sets of footsteps approaching. Already knowing with almost certainty who one set belongs to, you look up to confirm your suspicions.

Sure enough, while one set of footsteps belong to Major Miles, the others belong to the one person you told yourself you'd like to avoid…

Unsurprisingly, it's Ishvalan who speaks first, his eyes burning into your soul. 'Are you injured? If so, I apologise. I should not have assigned you this work. Forgive me for acting with such clouded judgement.' Clouded? By what?

With no interest to speak with him anymore than you have to, you drop it in favour of answering the initial question. 'I'm fine. I'm not as weak as you think I am.' Well, there goes your chance to try and swap jobs…

Miles chuckles. 'That's the attitude I like to see. You hear that, grumps? The lady is fine. Stop being a mother hen. We have a lot of people that we need to look out for here.' Wait, so they came over here because Ishvalan was worried about you? As if! Why would he even give a shit about you?

Ishvalan's stare remains unwavering. 'You might not be injured, but I do not think you are okay. Now is the time to speak up if something has upset you.' Yeah, because he's really likely to take your side of this argument…

You're more than willing to remain silent, but Hani nudges you, silently asking you to come clean. 'It was one of the men. He made a few comments about how I don't belong here. It wasn't anything you're not already thinking, so it's fine. That's all.' That's as much as you're willing to say, anyhow.

Ishvalan's brow furrows. 'I see.' His eyes finally leave you, heading to Hani. 'Who was the man making comments? Was it Tamir?' How did he know? Was it because he'd seen you talking from a distance?

Hani nods. 'Yes, it was.' He stares over at the man in question, his lips slightly downturned, as if he pities the man somewhat.

Ishvalan nods, turning to Miles this time. 'You should take him to the Head Monk. I would offer to speak with him myself, but I am the last man he will listen to, given my history.' Wait, so they actually intend to reprimand him? That's… not something you'd expected.

Miles walks away with a curt nod, and Ishvalan is right back to staring at you. 'If you can, I would like you to forgive Tamir. I know enough of hatred to know that it often sprouts from the soil of grief. In time, his grief will fade, and his hatred will die. Until then, please do not burn the bridge of friendship. He has lost plenty of them already.' You don't want to know if he lost them because of argument or death…

You nod weakly, still somehow keeping eye contact. 'I expected people to take issue with me. You told me as much yourself. I still want to help, even if you don't need an Amestrian here.' At least you're not an alchemist; then you'd really deserve all the hate, and you'd probably be dead.

The scarred man thinks on your answer a while, and you swear the ghost of a smile plays on his lips. 'Yet as you intend to stay here, helping would be a good way to change the minds of the people around you. For now at least, I'm certain you have a friend in Hani.

'Now that the situation is resolved, I have many different areas to oversee. Should anyone speak further ills, I shall deal with it. We cannot allow hatred to spread in our homeland. The time for hostility is over. We should now look only to peace.' He leaves without further comment, leaving you to stare at him as he walks away.

Hani nudges your shoulder. 'Do you see what I mean about him now? If you took the time to speak to him one day, you might find some common ground with him.' Common ground? With a murderer? That isn't going to happen.

You shrug. 'I doubt that. He's just playing nice for the sake of appearance and politics. I bet he wants me here even less than Tamir does.' That he's less vocal is a result of his position, and nothing more…

Hani sighs. 'I think you're wrong. I've been working with him since this project began, and just now was he closest I've ever seen to him actually smiling. Maybe that's another bridge to avoid burning, but I shan't force the subject any further. For now, we should return to work, if you're still adamant you don't need a break.' You're glad he's decided to drop it; the less you think about Ishvalan, the better.

As least the sun isn't as intense as his gaze seems to be.


	4. Unexpected News

It's a full week since you arrived now, a milestone that isn't lost on Anthony.

He had been the one to help his husband carry food today, though he had asked you to walk with them both, wanting to know if you're settling in okay.

The truth is, you're not sure.

On the one hand, there is the attitude of the people here. With the exception of Tamir, everyone here has been polite at worst, openly friendly at best. You hadn't anticipated such a warm reception, but you're grateful for it; it makes settling in much easier.

On the other hand, the work is… draining. You're surprised your arms are even still working, a true testament to how strong the human body is. Everyone else seems to be surprised too, most of all Hani, who by day five had stopped hovering over you like an anxious parent.

Still, you know you're not a part of this group yet. You've done nothing that would earn your place as such.

Confused by your silence, Anthony prompts you. 'My friend, are you feeling alright? You seem to have lost yourself to thought.'

Hani laughs. 'Well, you did ask her a question, my love. A rather nebulous one at that. It is a difficult thing to quantify, how settled one is.' While it sounds as if he's berating his husband, the playful smile on his lips tells a different story.

Anthony rolls his eyes. 'I am only trying to act as a good neighbour should. Perhaps I shall avoid asking such questions in future.' Is he… sulking? Really?

You put your arm around Anthony, bringing him into an awkward hug. 'I appreciate you asking. I think I'm doing okay. Good enough that you'll be leaving alone next week. I'm still determined to stay here for as long as it takes.' Well, until this city is back to its former glory, at least…

Anthony and Hani exchange a tense glance, with Hani being the one to answer the questioning look on your face. 'Actually… there has been a change of plans. While I normally remain in Ishval at all times, I'll be leaving with Ant this time. A letter arrived while he was still in Amestris. Apparently, there's an orphanage that is full of Ishvalan children. We don't know how many are orphaned and how many were just separated from their families, so I've agreed to head a team of people to find out. The Head Monk did want to send Ishvalan, but I'm not sure he has the right temperament to deal with children.'

Your eyes widen. 'He wanted to send Ishvalan? But he murdered a child a few years ago, didn't he? The Tucker girl?' You remember reading it in the paper, and being horrified by it.

Anthony shifts slightly. 'That was different. There were… circumstances surrounding Nina Tucker's death that weren't widely reported. Ishvalan actually seems to like children, although his gruffness does seem to scare them all off rather quickly. My Hani however has a perfect track record when it comes to not terrifying children with a look.' Circumstances? What circumstances?

When you ask as much, it's Hani that answers. 'You would be better off asking the man himself. I'm sure he wouldn't deny you an answer if you're truly curious. Maybe you can discuss it with him when you ask for a different job.' A different job?

You eye him curiously. 'I don't plan to ask for a different task.' Even if you probably should in all fairness…

Both men look at you, their disapproval clear. 'Please don't continue to push yourself like this. There are many other tasks that need doing. In fact, speak to Miles. I suspect he'll want you to deliver food to this camp in my stead, with the help of another woman. We try to keep men away from the female camp for reasons of privacy and decency. Ant and I are exceptions, for very obvious reasons; we won't be spying on women in the communal baths anytime soon.' That makes sense. As long as the person assigned to assist you is another woman, rather than the pardoned serial killer, you're more than willing to be food delivery girl.

Now you just have to hope Miles agrees.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It's easy enough to find Major Miles; he's with Ishvalan once again today, both men overseeing the removal of rubble. Do they always work as a pair? It seems an odd thing, given how different their roles are.

When he sees you approaching, Major Miles smiles. 'Good morning. Is there something we can assist you with?'

In stark contrast to Miles, Ishvalan wears a heavy frown. 'Has someone made another comment about you?' You're surprised he even remembers what happened with Tamir…

Ignoring Ishvalan completely, you smile back at Major Miles. 'Actually, Hani sent me. He mentioned he's going away next week, and I was wondering if you'd let me take over his food delivery. I can still do my other duty too, of course. It's just, I've gotten quite used to the deliveries now, so I'd like to continue with them, if you don't mind.' What are you doing? You're making it sound like you can do it all by yourself, which would be difficult…

Miles' eyebrows shoot up. 'Damn. Wasn't expecting a volunteer for food duty. You're more than welcome to take over. I'm sure Ishvalan will be glad of your company.' Wait, Ishvalan? Don't say…

Ishvalan's eyebrows furrow. 'I am guessing you were not given the full details. I shall be assisting Hani's successor with the food deliveries. I have little else to do in the mornings, so it only makes sense I help.' This is bad. Now you're going to be seeing Ishvalan every morning for the foreseeable future; surely there's still time for you to back out?

Yes, there is one thing! 'I wasn't, but I'm a little confused; I thought men weren't allowed to enter the female camp?' Unless Ishvalan is gay… then you can't really use that argument.

While you get the feeling your question has irritated him, Ishvalan remains calm. 'If you recall, I was in the female camp not long ago. I am one of the leaders here, a trusted member of our community. I am even less likely to do anything unsavoury than Hani or Anthony. You have my word as a former monk on that.' Well, there goes your plan…

Still, you can't resist getting a dig in. 'Anyone's word as a former anything is worthless, because it means they failed to stick at their former task. How can I trust that myself and the other women are safe around you?'

If looks could kill, you'd be Ishvalan's next victim. 'Do not insult me. I am a murderer, not a rapist. By your logic, I would be unfit to live with both men and women. Perhaps I am not. Nevertheless, here we are. Do you wish to help with the food runs or not?' Damn it. This isn't how you wanted things to go down. They couldn't have asked literally anyone else to cover for Hani?

Resigned, you sigh. 'Alright, I'll do it. I'm not entirely comfortable, but I'll do it anyway.' Both men raise their eyebrows at you; were they expecting you to lie and say everything is fine?

Ishvalan is the first to vocalise his surprise. 'You are willing to work with me?' You nod, and he hums. 'I see. We shall meet next week, then.' Well, at least you still get the job, even if you did accuse your partner of being a potential sex offender…

As you say your goodbyes and head off to work, you swear you can feel two pairs of eyes staring at you.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When he's certain the only non-Ishvalan worker here is out of earshot, Miles lets out a low whistle. 'Damn. I wasn't expecting anyone to agree to work with you. She's got balls, that's for sure. I bet Armstrong would eat her up.' He turns his gaze to Ishvalan, interested in his reaction.

Ishvalan desperately tries to avoid thinking about what Miles is implying, even shaking his head to dispel such a vision.

When he doesn't get an answer, Miles smirks. 'Honestly, I would probably eat her up, too.'

This time, Ishvalan takes the bait. 'You are a married man, Miles. I'll forget you said that.'

Miles laughs. 'Quite happily married, as it happens. Unlike you, my friend.' A fact that both Miles and the Head Monk are both acutely aware of; they've been trying to set Ishvalan up since they all arrived here.

Ishvalan growls. 'Leave it be. I have no need of a name, or a wife, or a family. No amount of persistence from you or my former master will change my feelings on the matter.'

Miles raises an eyebrow. 'I think you underestimate the Head Monk's persistence. I don't know why you're so against the idea anyhow. You're a free man now. You have a chance to start a life of your own. It's what Ishvala would want, I'm sure.' Miles can't really be sure though; he's not yet familiar enough with his Grandfather's culture to claim to know the ways of its people.

Ishvalan sighs, irritated that Miles refuses to drop the subject. 'The last time I claimed to know Ishvala's will, I murdered alchemists without remorse. We will never understand what our God wants. For all that you claim to know, Ishvala may demand that I spend my life dedicated to making amends for my past. None of what you or my former master want for me fit into that.'

To Ishvalan's chagrin, Miles wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 'Repopulating Ishval could be considered making amends, I'm sure. We need as many new Ishvalans as possible if we're going to keep our culture alive for future generations.' Ishvalan will be the one teaching the next generation, too…

Finally at his limit, Ishvalan throws his arms up in a mixture of frustration and defeat. 'I'll concede that, but it is irrelevant. While it is true that I could easily take a new name, finding a wife is not so simple. One might say it's impossible with my past.' After all, how could he expect any woman to trust him to be a good husband when he's hurt so many in the past?

Miles has to fight the urge to grin smugly; it's not like Ishvalan to ever concede anything!

Instead, Miles crosses his arms, and tries to look solemn. 'It's not easy, but I don't think it's impossible. You just have to start with the basics. Is there anyone in camp you find attractive at all?'

For a split second, Ishvalan is tempted to say Miles, if only to shut him up.

Instead, he answers honestly. 'I'm not certain. I have not been looking at the women here as women, but rather as fellow Ishvalans.' One more reason he's allowed in the female camp…

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Miles decides to be specific. 'Alright then, what do you think of the one woman here that isn't a fellow Ishvalan?' If he asks which one…

Ishvalan stares at the ground. 'That is irrelevant. You've seen how she is when she's near me. She is scared that I will hurt her, and I don't blame her. Even friendship seems out of the question with her.' Something that makes Ishvalan's chest ache, but he's not sure why; she's not the first person to show him such open fear and hostility, and she won't be the last.

This time, Miles can't fully contain his smug smile. 'You think she's attractive though, don't you?'

Ishvalan shrugs. 'In her way, as all women are.' Miles almost wishes he'd never started this conversation. He's almost beginning to wonder if Ishvalan is actually attracted to women; there are several women in the camp Miles would be tempted by if he was in Ishvalan's shoes.

To Miles' surprise, Ishvalan continues. 'My friend, I would like to end this conversation. I have no desire to dwell on things that are beyond my reach.'

As much as he wants to push this conversation forwards, Miles is wise enough to know when to stop. 'Very well then. I have things I need to do now anyway. I'd like to leave you with one last thought though; when you were travelling around Amestris lost in your own despair, wasn't rebuilding Ishval also beyond your reach?' Ishvalan has things he'd love to say about that, but Miles walks away before he has a chance to do so, leaving him to dwell on his thoughts.

While Miles raises another fair point, the two things are incomparable. Regaining Ishval was for the good of all Ishvalans; him finding a wife would be purely for his own benefit.

Ishvalan is almost angry with Miles and his former master. Why is his personal life any of their concern? Surely if he is a free man, he should have the freedom to live life alone if that's what he wants? Why is finding a wife such an important thing? He needs a wife even less than he needs a name; at least a name would be of some convenience.

Still, now that Miles isn't here, it does give him the chance to better reflect on an earlier question; are there any women here that catch his eye?

What he said earlier is true; he's not really been looking at the women as women. If he were to take a moment to forget that however…

No, he can't. It's not right of him to do so. The women here trust him, he can't start thinking that way. It would be inappropriate. Besides, it's not as if he even knows what he finds attractive anymore; it's been a lifetime since he ever looked at a woman as more than a friend, his monk training doing much to temper his desire.

With little warning, Ishvalan's mind turns to Miles' second question; what of the Amestrian woman?

The more he thinks about it, the more ridiculous a suggestion it becomes. In what world would they work as a pair? After all the hatred he's harboured for her country of birth, how could he expect love to bloom? She would never accept that love, and his guilt would kill it before he even had a chance.

Still, if he were to forget that for a moment, and take Miles' advice to just focus on her physically…

There is… something. He's not sure what, but Ishvalan knows that it exists. Perhaps he can sense her hatred of him, and he's mistaken that for a spark of something more? That seems the most likely explanation; it's clear to him that she hates him.

Maybe he should be the one to transfer his new responsibility. Having her beside him seems like a recipe for disaster; sooner or later, something will boil over, and he doesn't want to be the one to start another race war. While he'll never forget the war, Ishvalan is at least willing to admit that it was more than the Amestrians that were responsible for genocide of his people; the true mastermind is dead now, in no small part thanks to him.

Still, if she is willing to stay here, and give his people a chance, maybe she'll surprise him and learn to tolerate his presence. After all, he has no intention of harming a woman that is only trying to help…

… he's done that once before, and it's the one thing he'll never be able to forgive himself for.


	5. A Few Questions

The rest of the week passes without incident, until it's finally time to say goodbye to Anthony and Hani.

Both men seemed sad to leave you behind in Ishval, but there was also a great sense of relief that you hadn't been scared away, despite a few troubling events (though in truth, Tamir now seems to be avoiding you; whatever advice the Head Monk gave him seems to have been heeded).

After their departure, you'd headed back to your tent, and allowed a few lonely tears to fall. In the two weeks you've been here, they were the only friends you'd made. Now that they're gone, you have no one.

You almost wish you had gone.

Add to that the fact that you have to start food deliveries with Ishvalan in the morning, and it's safe to say that you're having a really, really shitty day.

What makes it even worse is that you still have your own job to do today, and you're not sure if you have the strength to be moving rubble today. Maybe you could have a word with Miles, see if he has something else you can do?

You're about to do just that, when you hear a gruff voice from just outside. 'May I come in?' Ishvalan?! What is he doing here?!

You'd love to tell him to get lost, but you don't even have the effort to stop him; he'd probably just come in anyway.

When you vocalise a yes, Ishvalan slowly makes his way inside, almost as if he's approaching a startled deer. He takes a seat just next to the entrance, but makes sure not to block his.

His face is neutral for once, his signature look of brooding angst not present for once. 'I came to make sure you are certain about assisting me with Hani's duties in his absence. I am more than capable of doing it alone, if you are going to be uncomfortable working with me. Alternatively, I'm sure I could find someone to trade chores with me.' He's giving you a final out? Maybe you're not the only uncomfortable one…

You shake your head. 'I said I'd do it, and I meant it. Just don't expect me to be too talkative; there is little I want to say to you that I haven't already said.' Except a few questions about his past crimes, but you get the feeling he wouldn't answer them…

Ishvalan nods. 'Understandable. I am not one for speaking much either. However, if you have questions about me, you're free to ask them. I won't make any move to justify my actions, but if you want the details of my crimes, I am the one that knows the true details.' It's almost as if he can read minds; you hope that isn't a secret power of his. Not that you've thought anything that you wouldn't tell him to his face…

Still, speaking to him about his past… it could prove to be a distraction of sorts, if he has time to speak of them now.

Fully expecting him to reject the suggestion, you decide to ask him. 'Do you have a moment now? There are a few things I would like you to clarify for me.' As much as you know you're going to hate the answers…

Ishvalan nods. 'Of course. Ask me what you will.' Where to even begin? You want to make this quick if you can, if only so you can find Miles and get out of rubble moving today.

So you ask the thing that's been on your mind since last week. 'What happened with Nina Tucker?'

Ishvalan visibly flinches at that name, before he tries to regain his neutral expression. 'Her father was an alchemist. I'd heard that he'd been placed under house arrest, so I decided that he would be an easy target. So I murdered his guards, found him, and dispatched him easily. That is when I met Nina. At least, I met the thing she had become, the creature her father made her.

'Her father… he had merged his daughter with the family pet. The Nina Tucker I encountered was a chimera, not a little girl. Knowing that she would spend the rest of her life as little more than an experiment, I ended her life.' Wait, he did… you hadn't heard that part of the story. Is it even true? How could anyone… to their little girl…?

You must look pale, because Ishvalan continues talking. 'I wish now I had chosen not to kill him. The swift justice I delivered to him was a better fate than he deserved. Think of that what you will.' You're surprised that he's being so honest with you; saying things like that would only make most people hate him more.

As it is, all you can do is nod. 'I see. Are there any other deaths you regret?' He hadn't mentioned regret exactly, but you're sure it's what he meant.

This time, Ishvalan refuses to look you in the eye. 'I said I would be factual, but that is personal. I'm sorry, but I can't answer that.' That's a hard yes then. Now you're curious, but you know you won't get an answer out of him.

So you try a new question. 'How many people did you kill?' That's a straight question, so surely he'll answer that?

Thankfully, Ishvalan returns his gaze to your face, a thoughtful look on his face. 'In truth, I'm not certain. There were men that I injured, men that I may have killed unintentionally. More than ten, but I'm certain that it's less than thirty.' That's a vague answer; so much for facts!

You're about to call him out on it, but he stops you. 'I refuse to make excuses for myself, but I was not myself after the war. I was possessed by rage. My actions were autonomous, my mind focused on a single goal. I was not keeping count of my kills because they meant nothing to me. The alchemists meant nothing to me. They were an affront to Ishvala, they murdered my people. When people mean that little to you, keeping count is unnecessary.' A grim point, but it makes sense. In its way…

Another big question. 'What's stopping you from turning on me? What if I say something you can't handle, and you snap? Will you kill me?'

Ishvalan's eyes stare straight into your soul. 'No. There is nothing anyone could say that would turn me back down that path again. I understand your caution of me, and I accept it, but it is unnecessary. I am no more a threat to you than I am anyone else. You have my word on that, worthless as it may be.' It seems as if he's still a man that holds onto the past, but for once, you're almost convinced by his words.

So you nod, and you try to force a smile, though it looks as disingenuous as it is. 'Alright. You're right, I don't trust you, and I won't pretend that I like you. You've killed people, as guilty as they may have been, and I don't think I could ever get over that. But I am willing to work with you, just until Hani gets back. It's not as if I have much choice, anyway. I think you might be the only one willing to work with me, too.' If he even is; maybe he's just being polite, in a far more graceful way than you are.

Ishvalan's brow furrows. 'Surely you have friends here? You have been here for two weeks.' He acts as if that's a long time! Besides, you've been working your ass off, too tired for socialising at the end of the day.

You shake your head. 'My only friends just left. I've not had much time for socialising. That argument with Tamir is probably the most I've spoken with anyone that isn't a leader or a leader's partner.'

You think Ishvalan looks sad for a moment, but he hides it quickly. 'A shame. Nobody should be without friends. Loneliness can pave the way to terrible things. Please, do not work today. Spend some time with the other women here. Try to make a friend or two, if you can. Your time here will be easier with friends.' It's been fine up until now, but he has a point. Still, who's to say the other women here won't be like Tamir? You wouldn't blame them anymore than you'd blamed here; people have a good reason for hating an Amestrian face here.

As good a reason as you have for disliking Ishvalan.

Still, as much as you'd like to tell him to shove his suggestion somewhere unthinkable just to spite him again…

You nod once. 'Okay. Just for today, I can do that. But for now, I think we've spoken enough.' In fairness, you've been all alone with him long enough that maybe you can trust him a little; then again, you've made no move to provoke him today.

Ishvalan nods back. 'Very well. I shall see you tomorrow morning then. Thank you for indulging me.' Indulging him? What does he mean?

You ask him as much, and to your shock, a small yet genuine smile plays on his lips. 'You allowed me to not only speak with you, but to sit privately with you too. Few others would do such a thing. It was a privilege.' You… so you're not the only one mistrustful of him? Why do the others fear him? He's never harm his fellow Ishvalans, right?

Right?

In either case, Ishvalan leaves without another word, closing the tent behind him with care.

Sighing, you stick out a hand, just to see how much you're trembling after being alone with a murderer for so long.

It barely shakes at all. Odd.

Speaking with Ishvalan so casually about his crimes… it makes you think of the things Hani has said about him, how maybe he's not as bad as you'd first assumed. Granted, he will always be a murderer, and that will always be the first thing you think when you see him, but is that all there is to him?

You almost regret being so hostile now. You're pretty sure that you've burnt that particular friendship bridge already, which is…

Well, for the best really. Despite his words, maybe you shouldn't trust him. You should just help in every morning in complete silence, then run away as fast as you can, spend no time with the man. Distance yourself, don't fall into his web. Serial killers lure women in with good looks and charm, then they pounce!

Not that he's particularly charming, of course; you've probably spoken to rocks with more charm than the stoic former monk.

Still, it's all irrelevant. You and he simply aren't meant to be friends. You're natural opposites, and nothing will change that.

It was nice of him to give you some time off, though.


	6. New Duty

The morning comes much faster than you'd have liked, the events of yesterday playing on your mind.

Taking Ishvalan's advice, you'd decided to socialise with a group of women, helping them do a few chores around the camp as you introduced yourself.

To your surprise, the women were very receptive!

You'd come to bed yesterday with the hopes of future friendships on your mind, even if you won't see them all that often thanks to your work…

Speaking of, it's time to face the thing you're most dreading; food detail with Ishvalan.

Your legs drag the whole way to the meeting point, as if your body desperately wants nothing to do with the man. Then again, after yesterday, maybe it won't be so bad? You've proved that you can be around the man for a while without cowering, and without him trying to harm you, so there's no reason you won't be able to walk with him in uncomfortable silence each morning.

As long as you don't say anything to prove a response, it'll all be fine.

You hope.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When you arrive at the meeting point, Ishvalan is waiting for you, eyeing the piles of food you have to carry. It's seems even more than usual; you're glad you had the chance to rest your arms yesterday, or this might be a step too far.

Noticing your arrival, Ishvalan nods. 'Good morning. I am uncertain how to divide the labour between us. Normally I would offer to transport the lion's share, but I do not wish to offend you again by implying that you're not capable. How would you like to proceed?' He remembers that far back? Well, of course he would, it was less than a month ago. Still, interesting that he's bringing it up…

As much as you'd love to take an equal share, with the extra food today…

You swallow, both your pride and literally. 'This is a little more than I'm used to carrying, so I don't think I can take half.' Now you've done it. Now all he's going to think is that you're stubborn and weak, and he's going to be a sexist-

Ishvalan nods. 'Alright. Take what you can. I'll carry the rest.' Well, that was straightforward. The comments must be on the horizon soon enough, though.

Scoping up about a third of the goods, you turn your attention back to Ishvalan, gesturing that you're done. He picks up his share with little more than a grunt, and the two of you set off towards the heart of the women's camp.

It takes just over a minute before curiosity gets the better of you, and you break the silence. 'Why do we have extra rations today? Are the farms producing now?' From what you've been told, the old agricultural fields here are practically unusable, but you might have misheard…

Ishvalan shakes his head. 'Not yet. We're still working on fixing the irrigation systems. Once we have them back, we'll be able to produce our own food, but for now, it's military handouts or starvation.' You know which one you'd rather pick…

Still though… 'So why do we have extra today? Not that I'm sure people wouldn't appreciate it, I'm just curious.' That's a bad reason to ask anything to Ishvalan, you're sure of that, but at least it's the truth.

Surprisingly, Ishvalan frowns slightly. 'Today is a national holiday in Ishval. Normally, nobody would have to work, but we can't afford to waste a day, not while so much of our country lies in ruin. The extra food is a goodwill gesture, and a welcome one, but it does little to compensate I'm sure. Do not be surprised if people seem more hostile today.' You hadn't noticed, but then again, you've only seen one person today, and he's always in a mood…

Even if the topic might be sore, you can't contain your piqued curiosity. 'What's the holiday?' He's definitely going to tell you to mind your own business now.

Ishvalan's expression remains unchanged. 'In your language, it is known as New Day.' That's… vague and uninteresting. Is it a day for getting new things?

Ishvalan's lips seem to twitch when as he takes in your confusion. 'As I said, that is a rough translation, and not reflective of the day itself. It is considered to be the true start of the new year. It is the time when farmers begin their cycle anew, and animals bring new life into the world. It is also the day that people choose to give small gifts to others they wish to court, thought it is not uncommon to see many couples either marry or promise to marry on that day. It is a way to start the year as you mean to go on, and to pray to Ishvala that the year goes as you desire.' It sounds like an important holiday; you feel bad that nobody here will get the chance to celebrate properly.

You smile sympathetically, forgetting for a moment that the man you're speaking with is a serial killer. 'Maybe next year we'll have the chance to celebrate it properly.' Wait, where did that 'we'll' come from?!

If Ishvalan notices, he offers no comment. 'Perhaps. For now, I shall offers my prays to Ishvala, but nothing more. You are welcome to do the same if you wish, but do not feel as if it is necessary.' In a way, it's almost…

You want to say sweet, but given who's lips the words came from, he's probably more than likely just saying it as a token politeness or something.

It does make you wonder though… 'Are they any other major holidays in Ishval.'

Ishvalan nods, oblivious to your thoughts. 'There are four in total, one for each season. The next one takes place on the day the sun stays in the sky the longest. It is a day to spend relaxing where we can, taking the time to spend it with friends and fam…' he hesitates for a moment, then continues. 'In autumn, we thank Ishvala for the harvest, and our farmers prepare the fields for the winter crop. It is also a time where many families are expecting new additions, a direct result of New Day. For that, we also give thanks.

'Finally, on the day in winter where the sun shines the least, we reflect on the year just pasted, and once again spend time with loved ones. Gift exchanges are also common, as is volunteering time to make sure that Ishvala's love is felt by all. These are our holidays.' An interesting mix, not a million miles away from the ones celebrated in Amestris…

Before you have a chance to response, Ishvalan speaks once again. 'What do you intend to do for the Amestrian holidays? I know that family plays a part in the holidays of your people, just as it does mine.' You hadn't even thought of that. Still, it's not as if you can just nip back over the border…

You shrug. 'I guess I'll be here for them. It doesn't bother me. There aren't many people I'm close to back home anyway. It's probably why leaving with Anthony felt like an easy decision.' Well, that and the obvious reasons.

Ishvalan looks as it he wants to smile at you, before he retracts it. 'I would like it if you could experience a holiday here, as a reward for all the work you have put in.'

You laugh humourlessly. 'What work? I've only been here two weeks. I don't think I deserve a pat on the back.' Not when everyone else here works so hard, too…

Ishvalan's eyes pierce your own. There is no anger or upset in them for once, but you're not sure what has taken their place. 'That you came at all is work enough, as is your decision to remain. I said I would treat you as one of us if you stayed, and I meant that. Many will say that you will have to live with us a long time to be considered one of us, but in my eyes, you have earned your place here.' It's nice to know that you have the approve of a man you hate, at least…

As you finally reach your destination, the group of women from yesterday arrive, all smiling widely at you. 'Hello again! Will you be helping us again today? We seem to have even more washing than usual today, and we could use an extra pair of hands to help get it finished.' Oh, but you'd love to! If only you hadn't been assigned a different job…

You shake your head. 'I'm really sorry Mina, but I have to get back to moving rubble today. Maybe another day?'

Mina looks shocked, before she narrows her eyes at Ishvalan. 'You gave her a man's job? How could you! You are every inch the brute, aren't you? Is it a punishment because of her race? You disgust me! I'm speaking with Miles and getting her moved with me immediately.' Your own eyes widen now, shocked at her strong defence of you; she's known you for even less time that Ishvalan has!

Ishvalan remains calm, remarkably calm given the circumstances. 'If she is unhappy, she need only ask to change. I will reassign her myself right now, if that is what she wants.' He looks at you, still the picture of calm. 'Would you like me to reassign you to Mina's group?' And get out of shifting rubble? This seems too good to be true!

You nod, trying not to look too happy about this. 'I would like that, thank you.' Then, you have an afterthought. 'Am I still okay to help with the food in the mornings though?'

Ishvalan nods. 'I have no objection to either corse of action. I shall inform Miles of your decision.' Well, that was easy! A reassignment to a job that's a lot easier than building work, and you didn't even have to swallow your pride and ask to be moved! It's great!

Mina is by your side almost immediately, all but dragging you away from Ishvalan. 'Come along then, dear. Let's get you away from that monster.' Once she's satisfied you're far enough away, she turns back to Ishvalan. 'I pity you, you know? How can anyone live with that much hate in their heart? You're a disgrace to our people, and I'm sorry that you didn't die once you'd stoped being useful. I might just go to Miles anyway, and make sure he reassigns you, just so you don't hurt this poor Amestrian girl. It's wouldn't be the first time, would it Scar?' She spits in his direction, taking you off to work.

As you walk away from Ishvalan, you can't help but feel… guilt. Even with all that you've said and done, Mina's words feel harsh, too harsh even. Maybe it's because now you understand the truth of what happened to the other 'poor Amestrian girl', but watching Ishvalan get chewed out like that, but one of his own people…

You might owe him an apology, after all.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Ishvalan feels a great sorrow watching Mina drag the Amestrian woman away, her words cutting him deep. Sure, he has heard them countless times before, but they always hurt him so much more when they come from the mouth of another Ishvalan…

The thing that hurts the most is that for a moment, he could swear he saw something in the Amestrian woman. A glimmer of hope maybe, that one day she would be receptive to a friendship with him.

Would it be wrong of him to include that in his prayers? To pray for a friend? While he has formed an easy friendship with Miles, Ishvalan misses the friends he made during his travels dearly. Having another friend here would be the greatest gift of all, something he'd treasure far more than a name. Would Ishvala grant him that? Would the Amestrian even be the friend he made?

He shall include it in his prayer. Ishvala stands a better chance of easing her hate than he does.

Unless Mina makes it grow beyond soothing.


	7. Sweet New Beginnings

Two weeks of morning deliveries with Ishvalan, and you're really working yourself up to that apology.

The mornings have been… far easier than you'd thought they would be. It's almost as if Ishvalan has been going out of his way to make you feel comfortable working with him. He always allows you to instigate any conversations, content to walk in silence if you don't feel like talking. There's been no talk of race or his past, both things probably for the best; they're the two subjects that could easily break the simple calm of your morning routine.

For your part, you've been keeping your scathing remarks to a minimum, trying not to provoke things any further. Besides, Mina has been making things hard enough for him…

Mina… despite such a brief acquaintance, you think you like her even less than Ishvalan. The things her and her group shout at Ishvalan when they come to collect you for work are vile. Nobody deserves to be told such horrible things so often. Well, maybe some do, but now you're not so convinced Ishvalan is one of them. Being here, seeing how deeply everyone in Ishval seems to care for each other; there is no justification for his actions, as he often says himself, but you think now you understand the reason behind it.

As well as you ever might, at least.

Maybe you should ask for a re-reassignment? Shifting rubble seems better than putting up with Mina much longer. Why can't you find some nice, normal friends?

Oh yeah; they're out of the country right now.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As you make your way over to Ishvalan, you notice he's not waiting alone for once; he seems to be in deep conversation with Miles, the two men discussing something in hushed tones.

Not wanting to hear anything you shouldn't, you clear your throat, alerting the two men to your presence.

Ishvalan seems to look oddly guilty as he stares at you in surprise, but Miles smiles. 'Good morning. I was just dropping something off to Ishvalan. Never knew he has a sweet tooth.' He claps Ishvalan on the shoulder before leaving with a smile, and what you could have sworn was a wink.

You chuckle nervously, uncertain as to what just happened. 'Did I just witness a drug deal?' You wouldn't have had the stoic ex-monk down as any kind of user, except steroids maybe…

Ishvalan looks confused. 'Why would I receive drugs in broad daylight? No, Miles meant that in a more literal sense. Here.' He holds his hand out to you, and you almost burst out in a fit of giggles; it's a chocolate bar.

Shaking your head, you smile at Ishvalan. 'I've never seen anyone act so covertly over a chocolate bar. Afraid that you'd have to share it, were you?' To be honest, you never would have taken Ishvalan as a chocolate fan, let alone one who actively has it smuggled to them!

That guilty look comes back to Ishvalan's face, and you worry that you said something wrong. 'Actually… it's not mine. It's yours. Take it.' What? Since when is that yours?

You eye the chocolate suspiciously. 'I've never seen that chocolate before in my life.' Other than right now, obviously.

Ishvalan signs. 'That's not… it is a gift. For you. Take it.' A gift? A gift from… what?

Not wanting to be rude, you take the chocolate, but you're still confused. 'Why are you giving me this? How did you even… I haven't seen chocolate once since I arrived here.' Presumably because it's more a luxury item than an actual food item, and not something the military would send here.

Ishvalan's eyes meet yours, any emotions in them carefully controlled. 'It was Miles' idea. He has connections in the military supply lines, so it wasn't that difficult to convince one of them to bring it in. As for the why, it's been a month since you arrived here. I thought you might like something to celebrate the occasion, and Miles suggested this. It really is more from here.' You get the feeling he's telling you that so you're more likely to accept it, but it doesn't matter; that either man took the time to do something nice for you…

You take note of your surroundings; it's still fairly early, with only a few people milling about. Maybe then…

Looking back to Ishvalan, you smile slightly. 'How long do we have before we have to make our deliveries?'

Ishvalan hums. 'We have a few moments, if you wish to take your gift back to your tent.' Well, he's not guessed your intent…

Getting ready for a rejection, you smile harder. 'Share it with me. We could eat it now before we head off.' Here comes the lecture about how important work is and how you can't waste time on something so frivolous…

Ishvalan's eyes seem to double in size. 'You want to share it with me? Why?' Does he really have to ask that?

Unwrapping the chocolate, you snap it cleanly in half, handing Ishvalan his piece. 'It wouldn't feel right keeping it all to myself. Besides, you helped get it here, so you should have some.' And it's a bit of a peace offering, but he doesn't need to know that.

Ishvalan stares at the chocolate in his hand for a moment, a suspicious layer of moisture glistening in the sun. 'This is very kind of you. You have my thanks.' You both take a bite at the same moment, and you can't control your moan; it might be the nicest thing you've ever tasted.

After a few more bites, you decide to make conversation. 'So, how did you and Miles meet? Was it when you first got here?'

Ishvalan shakes his head, swallowing his mouthful. 'No, we knew each other before we came here. We met in a town called Baschool, in the North.' The North? It's freezing there. It's curious that two people of desert origin would meet in a place so greatly contrasting.

It's your turn to swallow a bite. 'I see. Was he an ally of yours?'

To your surprise, Ishvalan shakes his head. 'The first thing Miles ever did to me was point a gun at my head. He was working for the Amestrian Military, and I was a wanted murderer.' That's… an interesting start to a relationship!

You can't contain your surprise. 'So Miles planned to kill you, or at the very least take you into captivity?'

Ishvalan nods. 'I suspect it was more the latter, but yes. Had our circumstances not been dire enough that a mutual acquaintance of ours could only escape with my assistance, I would have had no choice but to surrender myself to the military.' A mutual acquaintance? Whom?

When you ask that, Ishvalan tenses up. 'Somebody from my past. The daughter of my first victims.' Victims? Plural?

You have to ask. 'You killed both her parents?'

Ishvalan nods. 'Yes, I did.' You almost wish you hadn't asked…

… but now that you have. 'Were they alchemists?'

This time, you swear Ishvalan's voice breaks. 'They were doctors.' The chocolate tastes bitter in your mouth.  
Doctors? How could… do doctor's not heal people? Help people? How could anyone harm those who seek to cure?!

Ishvalan looks at you with guilt-filled eyes, and you realise you said most of that out loud. 'It is even worse than you think. They were two Amestrian doctors, working in Ishval, treating our wounded. I was one of their patients. Their actions undoubtedly saved my life. Yet when I woke up, alone, my family dead… I didn't see them as healers. All I saw were two Amestrians, and I acted without any further thought.' He… maybe you are right to hate him. Those aren't the actions of a man that you want anything to do with. They're barely the actions of a man at all.

But then… 'Why did their daughter agree to work with you? If I was her, I would have wanted you dead.'

Ishvalan sighs, probably relieved you're not screaming at him. 'She did. The first time we met, she wanted to shoot me. She probably would have too, if her friend wasn't there to talk her out of it. As little regard as I have for my own life, if my death had driven that girl to live a life marred by vengeance… I think that would have been the greatest crime of all. As it is, the second time we met, the girl, Winry, she… she is the one who spared me. She was convinced that her parents must have saved my life for a reason. Meeting with her, then hearing all that Miles had to say about our people… I was a changed man by the time I left Baschool.' You're curious as to what Miles told him, but for now, you don't want to change to subject.

Instead, you hum, finishing the last of your chocolate as you collect your thoughts. Ishavalan seems to do the same, his eyes cautious, bracing themselves for the incoming torrent of abuse.

The truth is, you're not sure you have any reason to hate Ishvalan anymore. If the daughter of his victims of all people can find it in her to forgive him, why must you show such hate? Hani really was right; you shouldn't have judged Ishvalan as you did. Even with all that he's done, if others like Winry can see good in him…

Swallowing, you think you finally have something to say. 'A lot of people have given you second chances, it seems.'

Ishvalan nods, a little of his tension seeming to ease. 'Far more than I deserve. I should be dead. That I am not is more down to the actions of others than it is to myself.'

You exhale. 'Then I'm not the only one who's ever had second thoughts about you.'

Ishvalan immediately goes stiff, his eyes panicked. 'If knowing my past makes you uncomfortable, I'll find someone else to take over. You never need to deal with me again. While I have appreciated your company these past two weeks, I have no wish to overstay my welcome.' That's not… he definitely needs to work on his persecution complex.

So you smile, trying to put him at ease. 'I don't want that. What I do want is to apologise to you. I was… I judged you instantly, and said some really unfair things. I'm beginning to see now that there is more to you than being just a murderer. I'm not sure if I could ever see myself becoming your friend, but for now, I just wanted to tell you that I'm past hating you for the things you've done. I'd like ya to start over, if you'll let me.'

Ishvalan's whole body relaxes for a moment, and while his mouth is neutral, his eyes smile. 'It is nice to meet you. I have no name to offer you, but you may call me Ishvalan. Thank you for coming here to help my people.' He hold his hand out, and you take it, shaking it firmly.

You give Ishvalan a wide smile. 'It's a pleasure to meet you. If you won't give me a name, then I guess you can call me Amestrian.

'So Ishvalan, shall we deliver the food? I'm new here, so you'll have to show me the ropes.' Even as you say that, you pick up your share of the food, watching as Ishvalan does the same.

Before you can say anything more, Ishvalan playfully shoves the last of the chocolate you gave him into your mouth, smiling at you. 'Someone I used to know shared that with me. I thought you might like some too.' You almost choke on it as you giggle, finally feeling at ease in Ishvalan's presence; not only that, but the chocolate seems to taste sweet once again.

Although the Ishvalan festival of New Day might have passed, for now at least, it seems as if you're seeing a new side to the man at your side.

Even if you're still stubbornly refusing to allow a friendship to form.


	8. Temple Run-In

The more that time passes, the more you're starting to miss Hani.

It's a month since he left, and you're feeling his absence more than ever. Having that friendship with him, however brief it was, was a really important thing to you. Now that he's not here…

… you've got Mina instead, and she's proving to be a poor substitute.

Today might be the very worst she's ever been. It should be a relaxing morning, as you and the other women have free reign of the bath house. It should be a time to wash away all the dirt from your various talks, and a nice opportunity to meet women you've not had the chance to talk with before.

Instead, Mina has been an endless tirade of remarks, none of them all that nice.

The current topic of conversation is one that doesn't interest you in the slightest; which of the men around camp is the most attractive?

Of course, Mina is the first one with an opinion. 'It has to be Tamir. Have you seen that man's biceps? He can lift me over his shoulders and take me back to his tent any time he wants.' A few of the women chuckle and whistle, but you can't join in with that; you still remember what Ishvalan told you about Tamir.

So you decide to quietly interject. 'Didn't Tamir lose family during the war? I'm not sure casual sex is something that he needs right now. He needs guidance and support, someone to help him recover.'

Mina seems undeterred by your comments. 'So he lost his wife and kids. Both those things are replaceable. I'd be happy to replace them for him. I bet our kids will be even better than the last lot.' You have to fight the urge to gawk at Mina; there goes your friendship with her. You just want out of here now, far away from Mina.

Another woman is quick to snap back. 'You think this is a joke? Do you have any idea what it is to lose a child? A spouse? To watch everyone you've ever loved die? What kind of monster are you that you think it's acceptable to speak like this?' Thinking on it, you're sure you've seen that woman before…

Mina spits on the floor. 'The only monster here is Scar, even if nobody here seems to realise it.' She looks pointedly at you. 'I'd look for a new job if I was you. Who's to say he won't get bored of playing nice with you one day? That he won't lure you down a dark alleyway and force himself on you before killing you like an animal?'

Your voice sounds firmer now. 'He's a murderer, not a rapist.' He'd told you as much one day when you'd tried to get out of working with him; it was a harsh thing to imply.

One of Mina's friends chips in. 'I'm surprised no one has sterilised him yet. We don't want his kids ruining our race like he has. I will disagree though; the real monster in Ishval is whatever Miles has hiding in his trousers. Damn, I want that man to split me in half!' A lot of women moan in agreement, but you're already fucking done with this.

Dressing hastily, you leave the bathhouse without a word.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Now that you're out of the bathhouse, the first thing to do is find Ishvalan. Fuck spending any more time with Mina. Hauling rubble while Tamir shoots you death glares is better than Mina's shit.

You really misjudged her. Even if she doesn't care that you're Amestrian, all the other things… not being a racist doesn't mean she's not a bad person.

After all you said to Ishvalan, the hypocrisy isn't lost on you.

Still, at least you allowed yourself to become a better person. Mina won't give Ishvalan a chance!

Again, somewhat hypocritical, considering you didn't want to either.

Well, either way, there's no staying with her when she's being so vile. It's time to ask Ishvalan to undo your move.

The only problem is, you're uncertain where to look. You know that Ishvalan must have many jobs to attend to, but what is he doing right now? Come to think of it, you're not entirely sure what his job is. Does he spread Ishvalan culture around? Try to preserve it in some way? You're at a total loss…

Oh, but there is someone who will know! The Head Monk! You know just where to find him!

By either luck or divine intervention, one of the few buildings spared from the bombardment here was a sacred one, a place of worship you think. It would make sense that the holy man would be in a holy place!

Then again, is it right to disturb him? It seems so disrespectful, for an Amestrian to enter an Ishvalan place of prayer to disturb a worshiper. You don't exactly need more enemies…

No, it should be fine. You'll just poke your head in, and if the man looks busy, you'll try looking for Ishvalan another way. That makes sense.

Cautiously, you approach the sacred building, taking a moment to admire the images carved into the stone around the entrance. Ancient words in a language you'll never hope to understand almost seem to tell a story, or they are a welcome perhaps, from the very founders of Ishval?

You stick your head in slowly, a faint smell of incense hitting your nostrils. Candles seem to illuminate the building well, a clear sign that it's occupied; the two figures in the room are an even better indication.

In the centre of the room, the Head Monk bows before an alter, clearly deep in prayer. Studying the wall in the left hand corner of the room is the very man you're looking for; so, this is what he does all day?

You think about walking over to him, but you're worried about disturbing the monk. Maybe you could wait outside a while? Surely he won't be working that much longer…

Before you can move away, Ishvalan notices you, and starts to beckon you over with his hand. Thinking it ruder now to back away, you move quietly through the room, desperately hoping you don't disturb the monk.

When you arrive at his side, Ishvalan seems to smile slightly. 'Have you come to learn more of our culture?' Oh, he thinks you're hear for a lesson? Do people come here often for such lessons?

As much as you want to tell him yes, you're not about to lie, so you lower your voice to a whisper. 'Actually, I need to speak with you about something.'

The smile fades from Ishvalan's lips. 'I see. What do you need of me?' You can practically feel his disappointment. Maybe a lie would have been better…

Or, maybe you can salvage things.

Maintaining your hushed tone, you think of a question. 'It'll keep. Why don't you tell me about this place?' Even if you have an idea, you're a little curious on the details; now is a good time to ask.

The faint smile returns. 'You don't need to whisper. My former master is deep in prayer. He is oblivious to his surroundings, so as long as we do not shout, he will not hear us.

'As for our location, I'm sure you know that it is a temple. The first temple, in fact.' The first? As in the first one ever built?

You ask as much, and Ishvalan nods. 'Yes. The first of our people settled here, and this temple was one of the first things built. While it may seem small, it was more than enough for our forefathers. The first of the monks would spend each day in prayer here, a tradition carried on until the war finally came here. While many of our other temples fell, I am glad that this one still remains.' You suspect rebuilding this one would have been impossible, given how unique a lot of the imagery in here is.

Now that you're closer, you can make out a series of images all across the back wall, each of them seemingly telling of a different story from the history of Ishval, mixed in with the language you saw on the doorframe.

Hesitantly, you reach out to the wall, stopping just short of touching it. 'I was admiring the carvings around the door as I cave in. They're all so beautiful.' It feels like a crime that so much of this history has been lost, thanks to the war…

It looks as if Ishvalan plans to reach out of your hand, but he stops himself short with a sigh. 'Ishval is a land of much beauty. It is all around us. Not just in the temple, but in the land, and in the people too. Our history will be forever scarred by the war, which is why it's so important for us to preserve what we can of our history. That is why I am studying these walls, documenting their teachings; the young must not forget. They must learn our ways, or our culture dies.' At this moment, you understand more than ever why the Ishvalans hate Amestris; it's not just the death of the people, but the death of the culture, too.

Not trusting your voice, you nod.

Ishvalan seems to hesitate once again, before you feel a large hand on your shoulder. 'I did not mean to lecture you. As long as you are with us, I could teach you our ways.' Why would he want to? No matter how well people treat you, this is not your home; you're little more than a foreign worker.

As much as you want to, you shake your head. 'It wouldn't feel right. I don't want to risk insulting anyone here. It is probably best that I stay away from here, too. Some already feel my being here is an insult, and I don't want to give them any further reason to hate me.' Mostly Tamir, but you know a lot of people feel the same…

Ishvalan takes his hand away, giving a firm not. 'I understand your hesitation. Should you change your mind, I will be happy to teach you.

'For now, I believe you were looking for me?' Oh yeah. You'd almost forgotten that.

But now that you remember… 'I'd like to ask for my old job back.'

Ishvalan looks confused. 'I believed that you and Mina were friends. You no longer wish to work with your friend?' Oh, but if he knew…

You shake your head. 'We were, but no longer.'

Ishvalan hums. 'I see. If this is about her comments towards me, do not take them to heart. Many people feel the same way that she does.'

Sighing, you look away from him. 'Yeah, but… I know I had my fair share of things to say about you, and I'm sorry for that. But it's not just that. If you'd heard the things Mina said a moment ago, about both you and Tamir…' things you don't want to say in a temple.

That last part gets Ishvalan's attention. 'Tamir? What did she have to say about him?'

You shake your head. 'I don't want to say them in your sacred place.'

Ishvalan isn't so hesitant this time when he places a couple of fingers beneath your chin, coaxing you to look at him. 'Words are only words. Please, I would like to know what she said.' As much as you don't want to, he's making it hard not to…

Knowing this isn't a fight you'll win, you concede. 'They started talking about who they thought was the most attractive man in the camp. Then Mina made some comment about how much she'd love Tamir to take her back to his tent. I said that casual sex wouldn't be something he needed right now, after all he lost. So Mina…' you take a deep breath. '… She said that it was easy to replace a wife and children, and that she'd be happy to do just that. Said their kids would be better than the first. Then she told me to avoid going down any dark alleys with you, before questioning why you haven't been sterilised. Then someone else started talking about Miles' dick, but by that point I'd heard enough.' Adding that last part about Ishvalan may have been a mistake, but he did want details. Still, it seems even harsher to repeat those words…

Ishvalan's eyes seem to widen, and for the first time since you met him, you can see hate in his eyes. 'What a disgusting thing to say. Tamir didn't lose everyone he loved just for her to…' He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. 'Please, do not breathe a word of this to him. I do not wish to find out what he'd do to Mina if this reached his ears. While he is not a violent man by nature, he is fragile, and I fear this might be enough to force him into something drastic.' You don't think you want to be around for that 'something drastic'.

You won't be the cause of it, at least. 'Tamir can barely stand to be in the same country of me. There's no danger of us talking about anything, least of all this. I recognise that he's suffering, and I won't be a part of that. You have my word.' For what good it'll do, given how many times you've refused to take Ishvalan at his…

Still, Ishvalan seems to be satisfied with you answer, finally removing the fingers from your chin. 'Thank you. Your silence will be a great kindness to him, even if he will never know it.'

You smile softly. 'From what I've learned, truly great kindness is often without merit, because kindness is supposed to be a selfless act. If I was only interested in Tamir's happiness because I thought I would receive something, it would cease to be kind. Kindness will always be it's own reward, because even if my silence won't be enough to help Tamir, it will at least not make him hurt further.'

Ishvalan's answering smile is just as soft as your, and no less genuine. 'I wish you had more friends here. It is that kind of attitude that I would like to take root in Ishval. Even if the hypocrisy is bitter on my tongue, I would like others to lead by that example. You shall be missed when you return to Amestris.' He makes is sound like you're leaving tomorrow of something… it's not even been two months yet!

You shake your head. 'I'm not going anywhere soon. I plan to see this rebuild through. Besides, maybe I'll settle down here, if I'm allowed to stay past the restoration. Build myself a house. Buy a plant. Get a job that I actually stick at for more than a few weeks. Convince a handsome Ishvalan man that I'm wife material. I think I'd like a life like that.' If you can get used to the heat, of course…

Ishvalan swallows hard, before his smile is back, although this time it seems forced. 'You are welcome to stay as long as you wish. I'm certain that when the time comes to settle down here, you will find all that you are looking for.

'As for a job, I believe a suitable position will become available sooner than you think.' Ishvalan's eyes drift towards the door, and you follow them, only to see the kind woman from the baths standing in the doorway.

She nods towards Ishvalan, quietly walking towards you both. 'Hello to you both. I was wondering if I could borrow the Amestrian woman for a while?' You? What does she want with you?

Ishvalan nods. 'I believe our conversation was at its conclusion, Amira. If she wishes to leave, that is her decision.' So her name is Amira? Pretty… but why do you recognise her?

Amira turns to you, smiling. 'Well, I suppose Ishvalan should be here to hear the first part. I want you to be my apprentice.' Apprentice? At what?

You ask as much, and Anita's smile widens. 'I suppose you could call me a tailor, but I do more than that. Anything that requires threads or fabrics is my job. I'm the one who made you robes, in fact. I think I may have given them to you, too…' Oh! That's why she's familiar! She was handing out supplies your first day here!

You smile right back at her. 'I remember now. Your craftsmanship is amazing, but I'm unsure why you'd want me as your apprentice. I'm not particularly skilled in making clothes…' Selling them perhaps, but not making.

Amira still seems determined. 'No one is at first. That why I'll teach you. As for why I want you, it's because of what happened at the baths. I know you've been working with Mina, and judging by your reaction to her comments I figured you'd be desperate for a change of occupation. Besides, you seem like a hard worker, and you'll need to be if you want to succeed. What do you say?' Well, today has taken a turn for the better. Learning how to sew has to be better than moving rocks, and a million times better than Mina.

Still, it feels like an easy way out. 'I'd really love to accept that, but won't people think I'm getting off easily if I take it? Everyone else works so hard, and I…'

Ishvalan interjects. 'If you think clothing all of Ishval is an easy task, you're mistaken. Amira is right, it will be hard work, especially learning everything for the first time. If this is something you wish to pursue, then do it. The worst that will happen is you'll ask me for another new job, and there are plenty. There is only one like this though, and if you do not take it, someone else will.' Those are all excellent points. If he wasn't known because of his poor choices, you'd be inclined to ask Ishvalan for advice more often.

His words are all it takes to tip the balance. 'Amira, I'd love to work as your apprentice. When do we start? Oh, and don't forget that I have food deliveries with Ishvalan every morning.' Something you very much hope you'll get to continue; you're doing it for Hani, more than anyone.

Amira smiles. 'It's all good. Come with me and we'll flesh out the details. Is it okay if she skips working with Mina today? I want to show her a few things before we start for real tomorrow.' You're pretty sure you know what the answer will be…

Ishvalan nods. 'Go with my blessing. I shall make sure Miles is informed, as always. Have a pleasant afternoon.' It's bound to be much more pleasant with Amira than it would have been with Mina, so you'll take that.

Before you leave however, you have one last thing to ask Ishvalan. 'The next time I get some down time, can I ask you a few more questions about this place? Nothing too deep, just a few basic things?' Despite what you said about not wanting to learn about the culture, you can't deny that the images and carvings are too much for your curiousity to resist.

Once again, Ishvalan smiles softly; he seems so different when he smiles. 'I will be here anytime you wish to learn.' Except when he's with you, of course…

With that, you head off with Amira, hoping that third time really is the charm when it comes to jobs.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As soon as the two women leaves, Ishvalan returns to his studies, only for a voice to distract him again.

'It seems you have made a friend.'

Ishvalan sighs; of course his former master was listening.

He turns to the man he had believed to be deep in prayer, but who is now kneeling in Ishvalan's direction. 'She has made it clear that friendship is not possible. We are acquaintances, and nothing more.' As much as he might yearn for that friendship, he has told himself now that it cannot be; he will accept that.

The monk smiles. 'What I heard was beyond that. I could hear the smile in your voice. You don't smile often enough for me not to think something of it.' The man is perceptive, it seems. A little too perceptive, perhaps…

Ishvalan instantly gives in. 'I would like nothing more than to be her friend, but a friendship works both ways. She has only just decided that I am not to be hated. I will push no further than that. If a friendship is to form, it will do so naturally.' That philosophy has served him well in the past; even Yoki's company eventually became somewhat pleasant.

The older man smiles. 'I see. And once that friendship is established, do you intend to seek something further?' Further? Does he mean...?

Ishvalan shakes his head. 'You are starting to sound like Miles. I have no need of a wife. A friend would suit me better. Besides, the monk in me still finds it difficult to see women that way. You trained me too well for that.' A sign perhaps that Ishvalan should have given the rest of his life to Ishvala, rather than trying make amends.

The monk looks sternly at Ishvalan. 'You are no longer a monk, nor a student of mine. You also have a friend here, unless you wish to tell Miles that he is mistaken when he tells me how he is worried for his friend. I am not saying that finding a wife will solve all the problems in your life, but allowing yourself to get that close to someone would help. Besides, you've seen how few Ishvalans are left. You settling down and starting a family would benefit all of us in the long run. Of course, you'll need a new name before we get to that stage. Why not ask your friend to help? It'll be a bonding experience, I'm sure.'

Ishvalan has to try hard not to scream in frustration, his location the only thing preventing him for doing so. 'I barely know her, and already you and Miles seem to have planned out a life for us. It is not going to happen. Any hopes of that life died when I murdered those Amestrian doctors. I am unfit to be anyone's husband, and even more unfit to be a father.' Even if the thought has crossed his mind before, Ishvalan knows it cannot be; even if by some miracle a woman came to love him, no woman would ever trust him around children, especially after Nina…

The monk scoffs. 'Then get to know her. Stop only seeking obstacles when the solutions are obvious. There is hope for you yet, I'm sure of it. Even if this path does not lead you to marrying her, it will open up many paths that might.

'I am getting old. I will not last many more summers here. I have known you since childhood. You are like a son to me. I need to see that you are happy, truly happy, or else I shall never be able to go to Ishvala's side in peace. Please, for me, consider trying to open your heart. While it is true that darkness and pain can creep in, the good that it will bring will make it seem irrelevant.' Ishvalan can't quite believe that, not after what happened…

Ishvalan grunts, standing at last. 'I need to find Miles. I'll be back later.' By which time, hopefully his former master would have returned to his prayer.

Before he can leave, the older monk gets in one final remark. 'Please, take your time. Perhaps Miles can talk some sense into you. I don't understand why you're so content to waste the second chance that you have been given, my nameless former pupil. You have the opportunity to build a life here, a full life… when there are so many who were denied that...' He doesn't have to finish that for Ishvalan to get the meaning; there isn't a day that passes where he doesn't think about his brother, his arm serving as a permanent reminder.

As he heads out of the temple and towards Miles' general direction, Ishvalan notices Amira and the Amestrian laughing playfully with each other, something clearly amusing them both.

As he watches the two women for a moment, something in his chest starts to ache, and he realises why; this is the first time Ishvalan has ever seen his new Amestrian acquaintance laugh. A giggle or two perhaps, but not like this. It's a beautiful sound, one that more people should hear…

Ishvalan hurried himself away as fast as he can, planning to cleanse himself of such thoughts before he returns to the temple. He has already indulged himself enough today, he won't start admiring her laughter, especially when he is not it's cause. It is already far too much that he touched her not once, but twice, and she did nothing to pull away or flinch. If she had been anyone else, they would have turned away in disgust.

Maybe there is some truth in what his master told him. Maybe they are closer to friendship than either of them wish to confirm. As much as she says she'll never be his friend, many of their interactions are friendly. It will be interesting to see if she does return to the temple. Having to work with him is one thing, but actively seeking him out for something…

Actually, now that Ishvalan thinks on it, why didn't she go to Miles today? She seemed surprised to see him in the temple, which means she must have sought his former master.

Oh. A former master who knows to locations of everyone. She was looking for Miles, but settled for him out of convenience.

Building friendships is a difficult thing when your past is so heavily marred by hatred. Perhaps it is best to take his own advice, to let things process without trying to force friendship

Still, Ishvalan is certain he would die a happy man if he could be the one to make his friend laugh like that again.


	9. A Different Delivery

What Amira said is true; it's been two weeks since she recruited you, and you don't think you've been worked this hard since your arrival here.

Trying to learn a new skill is difficult, and Amira is a teacher without mercy. For every mistake you've made, you've been forced to rectify it twenty times over, until holding such a small piece of metal had made your fingers ache.

Other times, you've been made to cut fabric hundreds of times over, to the point that the proper technique is now permanently burned into your brain. There are certain shapes now that you're sure you could cut with your eyes shut, not that you plan to test that theory…

Still, despite her being quite the taskmaster, Amira has been unfalteringly lovely. The friendship between you has formed quickly, the two of you sharing a lot of things in common.

For one thing, she's not one for gossip. She doesn't much like discussing things that she doesn't know are true, and you appreciate that a lot; it's a refreshing change from the two weeks you were stuck with Mina.

Another thing you appreciate is that she doesn't make constant comments about how Ishvalan is the worst man in the whole world, and how you should keep your distance from him. She has however asked questions about your relationship with each other.

'A little less than friends, but better than enemies.' You'd told her. 'We declared a truce after I apologised for treating him poorly, then a few days later is when I saw him in the temple. There isn't much to tell past that.' Except that you declared a truce over chocolate, but you're not going to risk landing Miles in trouble, as much as you'd trust Amira to keep quiet.

Amira had merely acknowledged your words, before returning to drilling you on all that you've learned.

You have to say, after only two weeks of learning, you don't think you're doing too bad.

Sure, you're not a master tailor yet, but there's still time. You're in no hurry to leave Ishval anytime soon.

One part of the job that's even harder than the rest is that you actually have to transport the fabric back to Amira's makeshift shop yourselves; if anything, it's more taxing than the rubble. At least it's two of you hauling the heavier pieces this time, rather than only one of you struggling.

The worst thing about moving anything in the desert is the heat. Even wearing robes, the sun is relentless, darkening your skin several shades in the places that are exposed. Even suncream does little to block out the affects of the relentless Ishvalan sun, and you're certain it'll only get more potent as spring continues, before becoming too much to cope with in summer.

Maybe you should go North for the summer instead?

The most important thing in this heat is water. Thanks to the forward planning of the relief effort, clean water is available to all. While it's not something anyone here can waste, drinking water is freely available to all, and as someone not used to desert life, you've been encouraged to make use of it frequently, an offer you can't refuse; you'd be dead of thirst in a few hours if you didn't.

As such, you've been trying your hardest to keep the flask you'd been given as part of your 'basic utensils' full, especially while moving objects in this heat.

That's why you're so happy when it finally comes back into your view, stood proudly against the last of today's delivery.

Before you get the chance to walk over and wrap your lips around it, you notice a familiar face walking towards you; Ishvalan.

As soon as you're close enough, you call out to him. 'Can I help with something, Ishvalan?' Unless him walking your way was a coincidence; it probably was, now that you think on it.

Ishvalan nods. 'There is. You had a delivery today. Is everything there?' Shouldn't it be? Isn't this kind of thing Miles' job?

Subtly walking towards your water, you answer. 'We won't know until we've taken stock back at the shop. What do you think, Amira?' If anything, you regret answering; Amira is the one who has the answers.

Amira shrugs. 'If it isn't, it feels like it. If ever there was a reason for me to find a husband, this would be it. I'm glad we only have one more load.' She's not the only one; you can't wait to cut all this fabric in petty revenge!

Finally reaching your water bottle, you bring it to your lips, only for it to be practically empty; you must have been thirstier than you'd realised the last time you drank.

His attention focus on Amira, Ishvalan nods. 'I see. When you are finished taking stock, could one of you seek out either Miles or myself? We can chase up any missing stock.' You were almost hoping he'd offer to carry the last of the delivery for you; so much for that.

Placing your empty bottle down somewhere safe, you and Amira load the last of the fabric under your arms, and you give Ishvalan a reply as you walk off. 'Of course. We'll be sure to let you know.' With that, you set off to Amira's shock, both of you trying not to collapse.

As soon as this is over, you're going back for your water bottle, and you're going to fill it right up to the top.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

By the time you have the empty flask in your sights, you're starting to feel faint. Next time you have a delivery like that, you must just swallow your pride and find someone to ask for more help, because you're going to collapse if the sun won't give you a break.

At least now you can fill up your flask with sweet, sweet water.

As you pick up your flask, something feels… off.

Curious, you take off the lid, only to be greeted with the sound of liquid sloshing around inside.

You have to fight hard not to drop it. It was empty when you left it, you know it was! How is it now filled with water?!

… is it water though? For all you know, someone could have taken a piss in it!

You bring the flask up to your nose. It doesn't smell like urine, so that's a plus. Well, there's only one way to know for sure.

Against your better judgement, you take a sip, relieved when it's only water.

As you quench your thirst, you try to figure out who might have done this. It can't be Amira, you would have noticed that. A kind stranger, perhaps? Then again, the well is far enough away… whoever did this might still be in the area!

Scanning around, you see a few faces, most of them friendly-looking. No one here seems to be paying you any attention though. It could be anyone…

You consider writing a note of thanks to leave here, when you see a familiar face walking away from you this time; Ishvalan? He should have been long gone by now! Unless…

No, it wouldn't be him. He wasn't even paying you any mind when you realised you were out of water. It was a kind stranger, nothing more.

Yet even from this distance, you swear you can spot a damp patch on the bottom of one of his sleeves.


End file.
